The Consciousness that obtains Sustains

you can work and work to get it, you may not be able to keep it, or your life may not transform by having it because the consciousness that obtains sustains - Reverend Deborah 

I heard something today that blew my mind : "if you get something by lying and cheating, you will lie and cheat to keep it. If you get something because you believe you do not deserve it, more than likely you will always be afraid of losing it."

Why did that resonate with me? There was a time in my life that I was almost in disbelief how my life was and the way that it looked for a very long time - I thought that I was perhaps lucky and undeserving. I was by all standards making it - material possessions, travel, relationships - all the trappings of "success"

During my late teens, I was what others would call nerdy and chubby. I really liked this guy who was an athlete, smart, popular, with so many admirers. We managed to get to talking and fast forward we got married - I was so afraid of "losing him" that I would ended up self abandoning and as fate would have it we eventually got divorced.

After divorce, while I was dating ,the situation was similar, I believed that I was so lucky to be in the relationship, what a smart, outgoing, well rounded person - I was terrified half of the time and presented such a brave front - same scenario - they also left. I did not believe I measured up.

Both are now in long term committed relationships - which is a whole other story for another time. It has been and continues to be a process to "believe"

I have been doing quite a lot of self reflection about how I feel about myself so as to learn from those experiences.

Rather than attempt to get it without self belief, to become it

Be Love

Be Patience

Be Balance

Be Trust

Be Abundance

Believe in Self and know that I am it - that way there is nothing to lose

It's a process and processes take time and effort.

Peace and Blessings

Akosua