What is on your “While I Live” list?
What is on your “While I Live” list? Nedra Glover Tawwab
My friend died, my soul sis - that is what we called each other. I just finished speaking at her memorial this morning- I can safely say that it was one of the poorest speeches that I have even given. Maybe later I will analyze why that happened or maybe not! I did my absolute best in the moment .A surreal moment to say the least.
My friend was a force, a force of light, she made me want to be a better person, just by how she showed up, she lived a life of and with love, she lived a life of authenticity, fun, realness, compassion. I am really not saying that because she died, this is truly how I felt about her.
When I met her, we were studying and she was naturally, one of the popular girls in the class. I looked at her and I thought, how awesome must it be to live that freely. I was so concerned with saying the right thing, doing the right thing, people liking me - newsflash - that is no way to live,. I quickly learned from her that showing up real is the way to live.
We lived in a different countries, but we spoke often, she always told me that she loved me that we were soul sisters. When we got together in person, we would have fun fun, fun! She would sing in the car, dance on the seat, take me to places that were interesting and educational. We would run ten k races and half marathons and she would laugh at me because most times I would finish dead last. The laughter was not judgemental or ridiculing it was filled with love, like "see Soul Sis, we did it, we ran the race, although you came in after everyone and the people were ready to pack up and leave"
She was truly a wonderful person, she did not pretend or hide her flaws. I cannot explain why she died at the age of 45 with so much dreams, visions and love inside of her, I cannot explain why I woke up on Saturday to hear that she is now gone and that we will never see each other in the flesh ever again or dance in the car, or debate on how we are going to lift the status of women in the world. I do know for sure that she made the world a better place, she made me want to be better, do better, live better. and I will always remember that. I will be reminded that true love never dies, it just changes form.
Earlier January she would be one of the people I would talk to about how I felt my life was spiraling out of control, how lost I was feeling, how I could not make sense of what has been happening with me. She listened and reminded me that I was worthy of love and respect, first from myself.
My soul sis, I will always love and remember you, you would say we lift as we climb. We will be the ones now to carry this on. I will honor you by continuing to do that. Thank you for sharing yourself with all of us, thank you for all the lives you have touched. You will forever remain a part of us and I promise to continue to make you proud by how we live.
Peace and Blessings