Reclaiming Self-Worth where the world values us for what we can DO
What happens to our sense of self when we’re only valued for what we can produce?
What happens to our sense of self when our value is tied solely to what we can do, rather than who we are? For me, it started at a young age, rewarded for doing my homework, scolded for playing too much. Having to hide to play with my imaginary friend who I named Penelope.
As I grew up homework turned into good grades, steady job, being a productive person, not being lazy - the bottom line was in the proving that I was doing and what I did could be validated, that it was good, that it brought no shame on Self and family. What seemed acceptable to the society that could be measured and valued. These are the markers of a "valuable" person in this society that we now live.
When our value is reduced to a checklist of tasks, our souls begin to wither, imagination is placed on the back burner . This is the silent crisis of modern life—a crisis that erodes our self-worth, distorts our identity, and leaves us questioning our place in the world.
The danger here is subtle but profound. When we internalize the idea that our worth is tied to our output, we start to believe that we are only as good as our last achievement. A missed deadline, a failed project, or even a moment of rest can feel like a personal failure. We begin to see ourselves as tools—useful when functional, disposable when not.
When I was fired from my job, I felt like an absolute failure. When I got divorced, I could not face myself, and other people- I hid, I ran away. I kept asking myself what did I do? How did I get here?
What I know now is that life has a way of getting our attention and its up to me to pay attention.
This detour in the road cannot me me unworthy, cannot make me a failure. I was born worthy, there is nothing that can change that I am inherently worthy. I just have to believe it. When we’re valued only for what we can produce, we start to lose touch with our intrinsic worth. We feel invisible, as if no one sees us for who we truly are.
Perhaps the most insidious effect of being valued only for our productivity is the erosion of our identity. When our sense of self is tied to what we do, we lose sight of who we are. Our passions, dreams, and unique qualities are overshadowed by the need to perform. We become strangers to ourselves, disconnected from our own desires and values.
Now I have been dealing with reclaiming Self and this has become somewhat of a challenge for people around me, I now know what I like, what brings me joy and there are things that I have stopped doing, have started doing that makes others around me uncomfortable.
The change came when I started asking myself How do I measure my own worth? Do I see the people around me as human beings, or as tools to achieve my goals? Do I need to be externally validated and chosen to be considered worthy? These questions are the first step toward a where our sense of self is rooted in who we are, not just what we do.
Peace and Blessings